The Mystery Shopper’s Manual

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We have all seen emails and mystery shop postings where some of the requirements seem, well, insulting. The job description and overall tone seem condescending and even rude. They include things such as: “Do not accept this assignment unless you are willing to complete it.”
“The shop must be completed during the required time periods.”
“You must read and follow all shop guidelines.”
“Sending profane or threatening emails to the scheduler will cause your shopper account to be deactivated.”
“You may not do this shop on a Saturday. If you do the shop on a Saturday, your report will not be accepted and you will not be paid.”

There are others, but you get the idea. Secret shoppers are told that we must follow the guidelines or there will be dire consequences, such as not being paid or having a shopper account deactivated. Most of the time these are “Duh” moments:
Why would I accept an assignment I wasn’t going to complete?
Of course I will read and follow the shop guidelines. Wouldn’t anyone with half a brain know to do that?

Well, yes, but the problem is that many shoppers apparently do not have even half a brain. They regularly accept assignments, do not complete them, and do not even bother to cancel. They do shops on the wrong day, at the wrong time and at the wrong location. They send nasty emails, cursing out the scheduler because they did not get an assignment, or because the fee offered for a mystery shop is, in the shopper’s opinion, too low.

I will be honest with you. Seeing statements such as those above used to bug me, too. But I have changed my attitude about them. Instead of resenting that the lowest common denominator (i.e., incompetent shoppers) set the bar for how companies will communicate with all of us, I am thankful that I am not a scheduler, having to deal with the incompetent, profane and angry shoppers who inspired these “rules.”

Do not take these things personally. It is kind of like the sticker on your hair dryer, telling you not to use the hair dryer while you are asleep. You wonder, “What kind of moron . . .?” And then you imagine a bald woman, crying on the phone to her lawyer about how the hair dryer manufacturer didn’t warn her not to fall asleep while drying her hair . . . For every stupid warning, there is at least one stupid person who has done whatever is being warned against.